Cool zabAn Forum

Cuss Control - جلو گيرى فحش

2006-12-06T20:42:23-08:00

First of all, we don’t advocate cussing. But if you must…

There’s this book out, called ”Cuss Control”

If you think that cursing is the nation’s foulest and most undiagnosed bad habit, and that it creates an unfavorable business image and is disparaging to relationships, then Cuss Control is right up your alley. Author James V. O’Connor, who runs a public relations firm, decided to write Cuss Control after appearing on Oprah Winfrey’s television show. O’Connor was being quoted in various places at the time for proclaiming, as president of the Cuss Control Academy, that certain swear words were about to become commonplace as a result of Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky, and Viagra. When Oprah herself said that she wished she could stop swearing, O’Connor decided to turn his anti-cussing crusade into a book. Part of his complaint is about foul language, but O’Connor also makes a case for the role of cursing in the dumbing-down of language. He argues that in using profanity, the speaker is usually just being lazy, avoiding having to choose more descriptive words to express himself. Cursing, O’Connor writes, “does little to convey our real message or the fact that our education continued beyond fifth grade.”

So, how do we reach this promised land where everyone sounds educated and no one swears? O’Connor suggests two paths: choose G-rated words, or--and this is his preference--recognize that the real remedy is to change your attitude. If you must subscribe to one or the other approach, it’s tempting to recommend an attitude change over a vocabulary transformation, at least based on some of the suggestions here, which include ditching four-letter words in favor of “Dangnabit!” “Criminey!” “Curses!” “Gadzooks!” and “Nerts!” There’s also a suggestion to create your own curse words. ("That’s a bunch of Bolshevik.” “You fudrucker.” “I don’t give a wick.") Regardless of your path to a cleaner vocabulary, Cuss Control is a decent read that doesn’t take itself too seriously. After all, where else can you find chapter titles like “Cut the Shit, Now and Forever” and “The F Word: Stop Me Before I Say It Again.” --John Russell

They told the cat - به گربه گفتند

2007-11-15T07:03:22-08:00

یک ضربالمصل:

به گربه گفتند فلانت درمانه، خاک داد روش

Here’s an idiom for you:

They told the cat “your poop has medical properties,” he covered it with dirt

See, the cat’s there, the poop of no value to him, but the second you point out that you might want it, he quickly makes it unavailable. This idiom applies to situations when you need a small piece of info from someone, and they suddenly make it difficult for you.

It’s also known as “rent-seeking behavior”

The most numerous way

2007-11-14T16:05:16-08:00

I sent an email to a friend and got this response:

Boy you have a real knack for describing things in the most numerous way possible. I loved the tone deaf thing…

At first I was flattered. Then I saw it. “Numerous”. Not humorous. A LIKELY TYPO! I think not.

Numerous. What does that even mean? Repetitive. Repetitive?! Me? Me? Repeat things many times?

What a thinly veiled insult.

A veritable gauze burka of insults.

Michael O’Toole, My Cussing Hero

2007-11-14T04:28:33-08:00

When I was a wee child I saw the movie “The Brother’s O’Toole”.

This movie has been one of the biggest inspirations in my life. It taught me the importance and JOY of a good vocabulary. I love John Astin.

The highlight of the movie is the cussing scene, which occurs at the town “cussing, belching and farting contest”. Here it is quoted, but I urge you to see the movie if you can to understand how perfectly fitting the cussing is. A work of art! Also a great movie for City Planners - the economy of a backwards Colorado mining town and that crooked mayor.

Michael O’Toole: I have, in my time, visited three political conventions, four sessions of congress, and two homes for the criminally insane. I have known army generals, steam doctors, vegetarians, prohibitionists, and a female suffragette. But never, even in an Orangeman’s Day parade, have I seen such pure and stainless brainlessness as I now behold in you. The Almighty, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, has given the worm enough sense to turn with, and the barnacle can grasp whatever happens to be standing by. But you are equipped with a mental capacity smaller than you were born with. Here we are, benighted in the middle of a nowhere named Molly-Be-Damn - a dreary little rookery, Timothy, a squalid sty, a festering pustule on the face of the western slope. Bless the town and bless the people! Look at them - the rabble of this cantankerous community! Knaves and fools, louts and lardheads, the least of all God’s creatures, without enough push to pick the fleas off each other, abiding in putrefaction and inertia, curled up comfy in it like hogs in a mud hole! And while I, of all people, fret and sweat for a way to pull these Simple Simons out of the bog, you stand around making flatulent noises for the titillation of the vulgar mob. And while he’s bubbling himself, what are you doing, you pusillanimous pack of popcorn pickers? You clattered clutch of clucks? The town dilapidating around you, coasting downhill in a handcart to Hell while you stand about gaping for flies and going patty-cake with your hands!

Mayor: There now! Now just one minute you!

Michael O’Toole: All right, all right, all right! Fine! Keep it, and treasure it the way it is! For when all this trash has collapsed into one pile, and the howling wilderness has claimed its own again, I want you hicks to be happy, belching and spitting, laughing and singing, swinging from tree to tree, with your friend Soapy Sam here, the Uriah Heep of the hookworm belt, standing around below waiting to steal anything that falls to the ground. If a nut should drop and fall - leave it lying there. It’s probably my little brother Timothy.

Sheriff: Is that all?

[O’Toole throws up his hands]

[Crowd applauds]

Sheriff: By acclamation - the winner of the cussin’ contest - Michael O’Toole!